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How to Be an Author: RESEARCH IS AN ESSENTIAL INGREDIENT
For many of us, our first writing assignment came in the form of a book report. Teachers used these reports as a way to accomplish several lessons without revealing to their unsuspecting students that they were learning a complex process. First, the report required a title. In going over the parts of the book, the teacher pointed out that the title of the book was found on the title page. Some of the more inquisitive students noticed the title also appeared on the book jacket and in a few instances on the cover of the book. When the student advanced to paperbacks, the book jacket disappeared and the title magically…
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For Your Amusement: WHO GETS THE LAST LAUGH?
DJT: All right, Mitchie, Mitch, I’ve done the heavy lifting. Gotcha another solid conservative. All you gotta do is confirm her nomination. Mitchie, Mitch: Easy for you to say. You don’t have any of those stinkin’ Democrats in the White House. DJT: You’ve got a good point there Ol’ MitchConnell. Get me re-elected and we’ll work on getting an all Republican Senate in 2022. Mitchie, Mitch: It would take at least six years. DJT: Don’t be ridiculous. We changed the court in three. We can change the senate in two. Mitchie, Mitch: You do realize only a third of the senate is up for election every two years? DJT: Who…
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How to Be an Author: IT STARTS AT A YOUNG AGE
OK, so I’m an old geezer. If being an author starts at a young age, then why haven’t I been published many times in my nearly seven decades of life. Simple, my parents taught me that when you choose a career where there’s a high level of rejection or failure–such as being an author, or an artist of any kind–a person needs a Plan B to fall back on during difficult times. Needless to say, like millions of others my Plan B turned into my Plan A and I had a long career as a teacher, assistant principal and central office administrator. A less popular career path–one my parents never…
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For Your Amusement: THE JOEY-MAC & TRICKY-DICKY SHOW: STARRING DJT
Joey-Mac: So, I hear Ol’ Blondie has taken a few tricks out of your playbook. Tricky-Dicky: Can you blame him? He saw how well that law and order shit worked for the old trickster. You had to know that sooner or later he’d take credit for it. Joey-Mac: Guy has no respect for history, does he? He acts like he’s the first guy to claim Democrats are a bunch of pinko socialist commies. Tricky-Dicky: Yeah, well, he can get away with that shit. He’s got one of those pretty-boy faces that plays well on TV, like that Kennedy asshole. Joey-Mac: Kennedy. I had to deal with his younger brother when…
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How to Be an Author: DISCIPLINE, DEDICATION, DETERMINATION
Over the course of my lifetime I have found numerous ways to procrastinate. In fact, sources familiar with my ability to put aside or ignore completion of an array of activities would contend I’ve raised the implementation of procrastination to an art form. Who am I to argue? Now, you look at the subheading of this blog: Discipline, Dedication, Determination and ask, “Doesn’t procrastination inhibit, if not decimate and destroy discipline, dedication and determination?” My initial reaction is to say, “Yes.” But, it’s not that simple. No doubt you’ve heard of writer’s block. It’s not a true illness like alcohol or drug addiction. Unlike those addictions, where one must first…
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For Your Amusement: THE MELLIE AND MIKEY SHOW–STARRING DJT
Mellie: Listen Mikey, I’ve been around a lot longer than you and if there’s ever a question of who is more loyal, just remember I have been faithful through porn stars, playmates and piss parties. Mikey: I’m not questioning your loyalty. I just thought your speech could have had a little more punch. Mellie: Punch? I thought that was your job. I thought I was supposed to appeal to women in the suburbs. Mikey: Yeah. About that. What’s with the accent? Haven’t you been here like twenty years? How come you don’t sound more like Heidi Klum? Mellie: I don’t know what you mean. DJT loves my accent. He says…
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How to be an Author: INSPIRATIONAL READING
One of the key conclusions I drew from my attendance at the Society for Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) conference was my only competition is myself. If an author write his truth, remains authentic, then his voice is unique–one of a kind. Based on this insight, my vision of the writing community came into sharp focus. No matter how many published authors exist there is always room in the landscape for another unique voice. It became equally clear that while authors are driven toward their own success, they welcome others into the community, support each other, and draw inspiration from each other. Looking to expand my world of authors…
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For Your Amusement: THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION
AUGUST, 2014- “DJT, I’m just calling to thank you for your contribution to my re-election campaign. I know I thanked you four years ago when you contributed to my campaign, but I wasn’t expecting such generosity, this time around.” “Oh, really. Why not? “Because I heard you no longer consider yourself a Democrat.” “Oh, that. Well, you know those Clintons became all upset when I crashed Chelsea’s wedding. And we have so much in common.” “How’s that?” “Well, Kami. You don’t mind if I call you Kami, do you?” “My name is Kamala.” “Sure, sure. Well, you see, Kami, my little girl, Ivanka, married one of those beanie guys.” “Beanie…
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How to Be an Author: ATTENDING A WRITER’S CONFERENCE
It’s been more than a week since my final seminar at the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) Summer Spectacular. It was their first ever virtual conference. The pandemic has limited the opportunity to meet face-to-face and turned our lives into one teleconference after another. On the upside, the semi-annual conference, which would have taken place in Los Angeles with twelve hundred people in attendance, found nearly five thousand participants from all fifty states and forty-eight countries. Saving the cost of travel and lodging, as well as keeping the entrance fee to only one hundred dollars for members contributed to this phenomenon. It was only my second writer’s…
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For Your Amusement: OL’ MITCHCONNELL E-I E-I O!
“Now you listen here. You may be President of these here United States, but I ran things here before you got here and I’ll be running them after you’re gone. Just remember I’m the one that put Garland on ice, so you could appoint Gorsuch to the court when you got here.” “So true, Mitchie Mitchie. But, what good does it do us, if the ungrateful sonofabitch votes with them crazy libbers against my total immunity. I give him a job for life and that’s the thanks I get.” “Sorry about that one. You know, they put on those robes and they start to forget how hard it is for…