For Your Amusement: THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTRIBUTION

AUGUST, 2014- “DJT, I’m just calling to thank you for your contribution to my re-election campaign. I know I thanked you four years ago when you contributed to my campaign, but I wasn’t expecting such generosity, this time around.”

“Oh, really. Why not?

“Because I heard you no longer consider yourself a Democrat.”

“Oh, that. Well, you know those Clintons became all upset when I crashed Chelsea’s wedding. And we have so much in common.”

“How’s that?”

“Well, Kami. You don’t mind if I call you Kami, do you?”

“My name is Kamala.”

“Sure, sure. Well, you see, Kami, my little girl, Ivanka, married one of those beanie guys.”

“Beanie guys?”

“Yeah, you know, of the Jewish persuasion. You know, I’m not even sure if that’s a real thing. I know some very smart people have said that Jewishism isn’t a real religion.”

“I think you mean Judaism.”

“Judah- ism, Jewish – ism, Jewy – woowy. Whatever you want to call it, Kami. I’m just not sure it’s a real thing.”

“Well, DJT, I just called to thank you for contributing to my campaign, again.”

“Any time, Kami. I’m always happy to help out a tough prosecutor, who keeps those thugs off the streets.”

“Ah-huh, well thank you.”

AUGUST, 2020 – “DJT, I’m calling to thank you for your compliments and to see if you’d like to contribute to the Biden-Harris campaign?”

“Who is this?”

“It’s Kamala.”

“Oh, Kami, so good of you call. You know Pencey was just telling me how he’s going to grind you into the ground.”

“Did he, now? You know he always looks like he’s on the verge of tears. You sure he’s not going to break down crying’ like your boy Brett did?”

“That was so, mean and nasty. It was the meanest, most horrible thing I’ve ever witnessed.”

“Why, thank you. I always knew you were a fan of my prosecutorial style, but I didn’t know you dreamed about me.”

“What are you talking about Kami? You crazy liberals have all lost your marbles.”

“Didn’t you say I was the kind of opponent everyone dreams of? And when you say everyone, I know that means you.”

“Now, you just hold on a second, Kami.”

“Tell me, does Melania know you dream about me? It isn’t a wet dream, is it?”

“You really are nasty. You treated Justice Kavanaugh like he was a thug.”

“Oh, thank you, again. You are such a fan. How much do you want to contribute?”

“Justice Kavanaugh is no thug.”

“Really? What do you call someone who takes part in a gang rape?”

“Never happened.”

“Why? Because he said it didn’t? Dr. Ford said it was him.”

“She’s a nut job.”

“A nut job who risked her reputation, faced intimidation and threats on her life and convinced most Americans she was telling the truth.”

“None of that matters. He’s on the Supreme Court.”

“For now. There might be a reason to take a second look once Joe and I repair all the other damage you’ve done. Who knows, maybe we’ll invite Anita Hill back to tell her story, again.”

“You’ll never get the chance. Pencey and I are going to bury you.”

“We’ll see. So, how much would you like to contribute, today?”

Any similarity to reality is purely coincidental. All characters are fictitious creations of the author. Special thanks to Signe Wilkinson for drawing an image nearly identical to the one used here.